Remote Control Wars


Few things try relationships as much as control issues. When I say control, I mean control of the television remote. It's a daily battle in my household and I'm sure I'm not alone.


You see, my fiance loves to hold onto the remote. The only problem is he's a channel surfer. As soon as I get interested in whatever show, documentary or news program that he randomly lands on, he turns to something else. But that's not the worse offense.


The worse is his total denial of ever falling asleep. He dozes off and still absolutely will not relenquish control of the remote. He refuses to admit that he is asleep, despite snoring loudly through whatever program we are attempting to watch.


I love him dearly, but I want to choke the life out of him when he does that.


What is it about men and the remote control? Are they less of a man if they allow their woman to touch it? Is it an extension of their penises or just a sign of complete selfishness?


The biggest question of all: Can I seriously marry a man who won't even share the remote control with me?