Jon & Kate Plus 1 Homewrecker

As if dealing with eight kids isn't enough, Kate of the reality TV show Jon & Kate Plus 8 seems to have a cheating man on her hands. Meanwhile he's allegedly out with some 23-year-old school teacher. (Note to self: Never send husband alone to Parent Teacher Conferences.)

I think it's time she thinks about substracting one loser from her crib. Kate Plus 8 sounds just as good and she wouldn't have to split the reality TV paycheck. If I was her though, I'd think about sending half the brood with him. Hey, that's a lot of damned kids. Kate Minus 4 still might work. Just saying....

Remote Control Wars

Few things try relationships as much as control issues. When I say control, I mean control of the television remote. It's a daily battle in my household and I'm sure I'm not alone.

You see, my fiance loves to hold onto the remote. The only problem is he's a channel surfer. As soon as I get interested in whatever show, documentary or news program that he randomly lands on, he turns to something else. But that's not the worse offense.

The worse is his total denial of ever falling asleep. He dozes off and still absolutely will not relenquish control of the remote. He refuses to admit that he is asleep, despite snoring loudly through whatever program we are attempting to watch.

I love him dearly, but I want to choke the life out of him when he does that.

What is it about men and the remote control? Are they less of a man if they allow their woman to touch it? Is it an extension of their penises or just a sign of complete selfishness?

The biggest question of all: Can I seriously marry a man who won't even share the remote control with me?